Yeah, I still haven’t changed my mind, if you were wondering. I’m going to jump from one thing to another and talk about them as they pop in my mind, no particular order whatsoever.
The cult of Apple…1/2
“Yes, yes, my precious…” – That’s how Apple fanatics sound like and yes they are real. I’m from Romania, Europe in case you’re dumb, somewhere in the East if you’re a real idiot. I would see on youtube people standing outside for hours and even days in front of an Apple shop just to be the “first” of their group to get their hands on a new product, it didn’t matter if it was cold outside or a tornado was about to hit. The people needed that iPhone like they needed food. Well, I guess that’s how dumb people in civilized countries act. I remember people, friends of mine and friends of friends that actually went bat shit crazy when a new iPhone launch was just around the corner.
It was one summer, I remember going out for a run and later at night met with some friends and went of for a drink. Friends of friends came and went but I saw something that made me angry at that time. A few days earlier one of “those” friends asked me for some money, I didn’t judge, he had money problem and I understood so I gladly lent him a hand. Yeah turns out that fucking prick who was so poor and usually couldn’t afford a beer now had the new iPhone. Of course I was mad, told him a few things and they weren’t nice, trust me. Don’t think I was judging, I couldn’t afford a phone like that, I was more mad at the fad, the faux facade that he was putting on. It’s like you don’t have enough money to flush the toilet and you’re getting one of the most expensive phones on the market. Oh, the hypocrisy. Hope that new phone helps you pay the rent. LMAO 🙂
The phone wars. Remember when Apple fans always used to brag out loud with their new gadgets, “my new iPhone is better…because”. Just like in those “I’m a mac and I’m a pc” commercials, only this was in real life. Each time we gathered for a party and such, somebody had to mention their phone, be it an Android or an iPhone. Man, those arguments went all night. And one thing lead to another…and you can imagine so many not so funny situations. Damn phones!
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The “meh” factor…
Macs baby, Macs! No not really, they were very niche in Europe. Since when? Since always! Europe was ruled by IBM compatible clones ever since the dawn of computers. Hell, even Romania had their own line of computers. Look it up, learn some history boi!! Yeah, there were Macs in western countries, but even there they were niche, mostly used in educational programs and designer and/or art businesses. Productivity was the main factor and so was cost, that’s why PCs became the leading choice. Customization was a huge factor, something that Macs always lacked or had but only to a certain degree. Yeah, even today, people don’t care how stuff looks as longs as it works.
The “wow” factor…
Yeah, nobody can deny that Macs always looked cool, at least starting with the mid 90s, before that they looked horrible. The 2000s brought a new aesthetic to Macs, almost see-through cases, colors. Just wow. They were beautiful, just like the colorful iMac G3, and let’s not forget the laptops. Candy everywhere! I was fascinated, I really was! Then they moved to pipes, to the color white, then to silver, black. Beautiful simplicity! Some do really care about how their stuff looks and feels while they are working.
Music on the go…
Ohh, the iPod, everybody loved it, including me. My favourite was the Mini, because, well, it was small, hence the name. This gadget revolutionized the music industry as we know it and that’s a fact. I came from a time when having a CD Sony Walkman was cool, yo! It was small, but a lot of music was in there, somewhere and all in the pocket of your jeans. Ohh, and colors, colors again, yes a bunch to choose from. Personalization at it’s finest. Good job Apple, you killed the iPod, congrats. You’re now offering that ugly big screen iPod Touch. If I wanted something huge in my pocket or in my hand while I was running or doing any other sport I’d just take my goddamn phone with me. Thanks for killing the mini!
1984 won’t be like 1984…
Well, neither is 2019, it feels like 2014, everything is just a bunch of bullshit, so fuck it. Innovation? I’m gonna talk about that a bit later along the article. Now I’m talking about the ads, the Apple commercials. I don’t remember ever seeing an ad that sucked, they all had that wow factor or had something relatable. I think that’s what got me into Apple products, the ads. Everybody was amazed by the iPod commercials for example, the ones with the black silhouettes dancing on a brightly coloured background while listening to music. Outstanding!
Then there were the iPhone ads, mentioning their use in science and projects for the betterment of mankind, insert Robin Williams, some nature, some African kids and you’ve got yourself an Oscar, for an ad. Yeah they used a large amount of high profile people. To be honest, I’m sold, those ads got me. So you win this round, Apple. Give some beers to your marketing team, they’ve earned them. Make that beer ice cold, baby!
Uhh, let’s not forget the books and the movies. Who doesn’t love a great comeback story, right? You know, Pirates of Silicon Valley, Jobs The Movie. Well these things got to me, they really did, because I was a nerd, mostly. I always saw Apple as one of the greatest tech success stories of all time. Now, not so much.
The hardware…
I’ll skip design on this one. Tell me why is it hard to buy a pc? I’ll tell you why, too many to choose from and not a good one in sight. Garbage, I’ll tell you, and I’m a pc user. Apple made a few products and it was and is always easy to know which type of computer is right for you. Kudos! Macs always had power and I’m not just talking about the architecture, they had more than enough hardware for high load usage such as video, music and so forth. Don’t get me wrong, the Mac Pro packs a huge punch, but I don’t agree with the way that trash can was designed to be upgraded, not at all. Yeah, try upgrading stuff on your own on your Mac laptop, good luck, or on the Mini for that matter. And on the iMac, heck the whole line of computers is a pain in the neck to upgrade components. I don’t need no Mac genius to crawl inside my computer to change my RAM, I’m perfectly capable of doing that on my own. #rant
Design and stuff…
Well iPhones always looked good and some still do, I believe design stopped after 4S, the iPhone 5 was just a 4S that played basketball. Tall, but still the same phone. The others, well, looked nice, but not so durable. Remember #bendgate? It’s happening again with iPods, out of the box and Apple says it’s fine, things like that happen. Wait, what? You stupid motherfucker! Quality control just like a guy with Parkinsons doing eye surgery. Find out more on this here, Rich from ReviewTech made a nice video explaining this issue. Heck I fucked up an iPhone because I forgot it was in my back pocket and I sat down in the car. Bummer!
My cherished iPhone 4S is cool, but I’s covered in glass so I always had to be extra careful with my phone, it was like having an egg in my pocket for crying out loud.
In regards to design, Apple has nothing new to bring to the table, heck they’d might even take things out, just like they did with the audio jack. * Insert Samuel L. Jackson voice: #motherfucker
Well, they could always make the screens bigger and bigger and bigger…there is absolutely nothing I think Apple can do in regards to designing new phones. It’s done, it’s there. Curved screens? Pffff…too niche! How about foldable? You gotta be kidding me!
The cult of Apple…2/2
Nothing brings more sales like some brainwashed fanboys, amirite? Dumb is and dumb do! Keep on buying an ultra expensive phone while you can’t pay rent, just because this offers you some fake sense of higher status. You’re a fucking idiot! I see things from a different perspective, I always try to imagine if a product actually is worth the money I’d be willing to pay for it. Does that cost reflect its actual usage? In most of the cases it doesn’t so that’s why the iPhone is a trap. The iPad used to be cool, but now it bends, or who knows, maybe it’s foldable and that’s actually a feature. Haha, silly me! 🙂
I’m guessing it all boils down to choice and money, mostly money. Nowadays I feel hesitant when I think about Apple products, I didn’t before. Strange, isn’t it? Yeah, gimme back my audio jack and maybe I’ll change my mind, a little bit. We all know that’s not gonna happen, but can’t a man dream?
I hope that with this decrease in sales Apple might take that chip of their shoulder and get their shit together.
To end this article, I’d like to say it comes at the perfect time, right with the #10yearchallenge. In all this time, you’ve read what has happened to Apple from my point of view. In the back of my head a voice keeps whispering “if Steve was still here…”. Not a ray of hope in sight.
Goodbye Apple,
Yours truly,
Mike